PRAISE THE CLIMATE SCIENCE AND SAVE THE PLANET FIRST GOD CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH AND IT WAS GOOD BUT THEN GOD WAS BORED AND DECIDED TO CREATE MAN. THINGS LOOKED GOOD FOR A WHILE AND GOD WAS PLEASED AND GAVE THE MAN A WOMAN. THEN THE MAN AND THE WOMAN BECAME EVIL AND GOT TOGETHER TO CREATE A POPULATION EXPLOSION UPON THE EARTH. IT WAS THEN THAT THE DEVIL APPEARED AND TRICKED THE POPULATION BOMB HUMANS INTO DIGGING UP FOSSIL FUELS FROM UNDER THE GROUND WHERE GOD HAD FORBIDDEN MAN FROM GOING. THIS SINFUL ACT OF MAN UPSET GOD’S DELICATELY BALANCED CARBON CYCLE AND BROUGHT THE HORROR OF CLIMATE CHANGE UPON THE EARTH THAT THREATENED TO DESTROY THE PLANET. DESPERATE TO SAVE THE PLANET THAT HE HAD CREATED AND THAT HE LOVED, GOD CREATED CLIMATE SCIENTISTS AND SENT THEM TO SAVE HIS BELOVED PLANET. AND THE PLANET WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED BY GOD’S GOOD CLIMATE SCIENTISTS BUT THE DEVIL WAS NOT DONE WITH THE EVIL THAT HE HAD STARTED BY SHOWING MAN THE FOSSIL FUELS. THE DEVIL FOUND CLIMATE DENIERS IN A DISTANT PLANET THAT GOD HAD FORSAKEN. THE DEVIL THEN CAUSED THE CLIMATE DENIERS TO APPEAR ON THE PLANET EARTH TO TAKE MONEY FROM EVIL FOSSIL FUEL CAPITALISTS AND THEN TO WRITE BLOGS AND POST TWEETS TO CONFUSE THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE SETTLED SCIENCE OF CLIMATE SCIENCE AND TO LAY THE SEEDS OF DOUBT. IT IS THUS THAT THE PLANET THAT GOD CREATED AND LOVED IS NOW ON A DEAD END TRAJECTORY FOR DESTRUCTION IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2100. SADLY, THE DEVIL AND EVIL DENIERS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANET THAT GOD LOVED. TOGETHER THEY HAVE CREATED THEIR OWN GEOLOGICAL PERIOD THEY CALL THE [ANTHROPOCENE].AND THAT MARKS THE END OF THE HUMANS AND THE PLANET EARTH THAT GOD LOVED. IF ONLY JIM AND TAMMY FAYE BAKKER WERE STILL HERE THEY COULD HAVE SPREAD THE MESSAGE OF THE GOOD CLIMATE SCIENTISTS THAT GOD HAD SENT AND THUS THEY COULD HAVE SAVED THE PLANET THAT GOD LOVES.