The inconvenient truth about college professors from Dave Barry's 2004 commencement address

This is your big day - the day you leave college prepared by your professors to go out into the Real World. The first thing you'll notice is that your professors are not going out there with you. They are not that stupid; that's why they are professors. They've figured out that college is a carefree place where the most serious real problem is finding a legal parking space. So your professors are going to stay in college until they die. This is called "tenure". But you have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough credits to graduate.

Cha-am Jamal
Thailand